Holiday Sermons and the Poor

This is Danusha Goska.

Holiday sermons are usually addressed to the haves. Everyone from sidewalk Santas to Marley's Ghost exhorts: "Remember the neediest!" Four years ago I was struck by a disorder that causes bouts of functional paralysis and blindness. The illness is treatable, but I can't afford the treatment. I've tapped my four-year experience of what it's like to be poor in Bloomington to compile these post holiday charity tips for my fellow have-nots.

Tip number one: Consider relocation. Local hospital turned you away? Silly you. According to recent news reports, afflicted Nicaraguans need only watch the horizon; heroic Bloomingtonians ride to their rescue. If relocation is prohibitively expensive, at least adopt a folk costume.

Tip number two: Fertility drugs. The ante has been raised with the recent birth of octuplets, but, given the stakes, this lottery is worth entering. You could finally get the medical treatment you need, plus a Chevy van and a year's supply of diapers.

Tip number three: Forget Newtonian physics. You've heard that to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. You've contacted all your elected officials, churches, news media, and social service agencies. But there is no reaction. That's because invisibility is no sci-fi miracle. Now you know what it's like to be poor.

Tip number four: Develop new uses for canned cream corn. You may need shoes. You may need brain surgery. You will receive a cardboard box of canned food. Now, since you are ill and on a low sodium diet, they've just handed you a doorstop, but – who knows – maybe research will reveal a new application for canned cream corn in the treatment of neurological disorders.

For Speak Your Mind, this has been Danusha Goska.

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© Danusha V. Goska

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